It has been one week since Baby Squeak has been gone. This week is a little better, mainly because I was out of town for a wedding, but it is still hard. I am not sure what the first weekend at the apartment by myself without her will feel like. I am still crying when I get dressed in the morning and I tear up during the day when someone asks about her but I am not sobbing like I was last week. As long as I stay busy or distracted I am good. The hardest part is still coming home. The minute that I hit the exit I start thinking about how she will not be there when I open the door and it becomes worse when I enter the apartment. It is especially bad coming in the evenings more so than during the day. On the weekends, she use to sleep in her sunlight spot on the bed during the day as I would come and go running errands or going in and out. I know it will get better but I just miss her so terribly much that it is hard! Everything seems to be a constant reminder of her for me.
I have been trying to stay very busy this week so that I do not think too much. On Tuesday, I got a letter from Squeak's doctor that was obviously from him. I appreciate him taking the time to write a note and have it sent.
It was difficult on Friday when they called for me to pick up Squeak's ashes. Besides the fact that this was the first day I have really been by myself in the past two weeks, all the emotions came rushing back. It did not help that I got a call to pick up her ashes on Friday evening and felt the need to go and pick them up right away so what is left of her is here with me. The Pet Circle of Life did a certificate for her and put her ashes are in a small wooden box and they did a paw print of her back paw as well. I also did an Infinity Charm with kitty paw prints to wear.
Husky is acting a little strange. She has been walking around crying a lot and I cannot figure out if she is talking to me, looking for Squeak or she is upset. She has been sleeping on the bed with me but laying at my feet. This is where she slept when Squeak was here and I am guessing she will continue to sleep there.
Saturday was better because I stayed busy. I met a friend for breakfast and cried on their shoulder for a bit. I also then went into work to get some things done that I have been wanting to get done but have not been able to get to.
Saturday evening I went to the O'Rourke's for dinner and then to see their fabulous daughter, Jordyn, in the play she has been working so hard on and is being directed by North's FABULOUS theater teacher, Anna Hightower. We are so lucky to have such a fabulous staff at North, Tom Kociela directed the Rock Concert in Temecula and Anna is directing the Junior University plays, such a talented group of teachers.
I have decided on Sunday to try and relax and get caught up on sleep. I was going to go to San Diego to Balboa Park to hear the organ play but then realized it is the end of Comic-Con so it may not be a good idea to be anywhere near San Diego. I was going to go into the office but the air is not working so I will be staying at home. I think today is just a finish up some tasks day and relax on the couch!
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